Wednesday, October 25
define me.
and so i've changed my skin again [and i love it because it does not have titles which saves me from thinking about something that best suits my posts.] one living proof na aligaga nga ako. or it was just a manner of how i'm feeling at the moment. *living in a world of nonsense.*gurg. [new expression learned from kat.]
maybe this is the effect of me and my dad's silent war. you see, im not as good as before, if i was indeed good before. i answered him back, yes, i did. it was not the first time i did it but the last was the worst shot. and i dont feel very guilty about that because at some point, that was what i really wanted to do.
* note: im trying to avoid apostrophes because of the unfixable typos it brings to my posts. [as if you care eh?] :D *
im not really that person others suspects me to be. im not an overly done goody goody girl. i have my bad side and i think everybody has. i just hate it when people expect me to be somebody that im not, then kicks me down when i did something not pleasing to their eyes. [alright, alright.. i know im not the only person on this earth who blurts out this line.]
live life without regrets.
man, this line kills me. its so hard to do. ive received lots of inspirational quotes since time immemorial that i trash their meaning. im bitter about my life sometimes, but i dont get to that point that i want to end it instantly. i still have my blurry dreams to pursue, and im off to reach it. as a matter of fact, im really grateful with what i have because i know that im blessed more than others do. and that is why i try to be a miracle for others. [try to read between the lines of man in the mirror by michael jackson.]
im undefined.
i was digging my way through various skins when i saw this line. it struck me. it was true. i tried to define myself but i really cant. really. actually, the hardest part [for me] when i fix my various personal accounts is the part about myself. gurg. i envy [a deadly sin.. sheesh..] those persons who could easily identify themselves: the girl next door, sexy hot momma, glam emo girl [steffy.. :D], rocker girl, the sentimental, the brainy nerd, the drop dead gorgeous, chinese cutie [kim.. :D].. and lotsa other stereotypes!!
more on the self: way back in high school, i remember squeezing my empty brain when asked, "what is that one thing that represents yourself and why?" could i be a mop? a broom? a dustpan? a rag? a canal? a septic tank? what?! why?! gurg. it was so damn stressful. i idolized my classmates before who could easily start doodling away their self representation. sigh, i really hate it when that happens.
could someone define michaela nicole cruz san juan?
[quiz galaxy defined me as: more like a banana peel. :D ]
please?
*yeah, getting sentimental and everything..*
xp









