Wednesday, January 17
on turning 18.
in two months' time, mica's years spent on earth will dramatically change to 18. she dreads that day as slowly, time ticks away and passes her by. others might be so enthusiastic about being "legal" and certainly, mica's not one of them.she personally knows the perks of being legal:
*enter bars and drink liquor
*smoke
*watch R18 movies
*wear make-up
*take full control on your savings account
*vote for the elections
*have a professional driver's license
*be home late at night
*have someone you can call "boyfriend"
*make decisions on your own.
sure, that sounds fun. but again, mica finds it the other way round.
1. mica is a certified home buddy. she's definitely not a party girl and she's not a heavy drinker. by this, she doesn't mean that legal girls are bad just because they go bar hopping and liquor drinking. she just thinks that even if she turns 18 soon, she will still not be fit to go to bars and do those things people do there.
2. mica made a promise to herself that she will never indulge herself into smoking. and that one should be really kept.
3. mica is not a movie enthusiast. she appreciates good films but she will definitely not watch it in the big screen. its not that she supports piracy, as i've told you before, she's a home buddy. mica also doesn't look like her age so i think she should bring with her a copy of her birth certificate to assure that she's really 18.
4. mica doesn't know how to apply make-up. that should be a shame for her because girls younger than her knows how. she also does not have the patience to stare back at the mirror just to apply color to her face. also, she wouldn't look good wearing make-up because she gets oily most of the time. that would be a hassle because she will then have to go the comfort room to retouch.
5. mica does have her savings account. but she's not able to fill it because she spends it. that's where the dilemma lies: having full control of her own money makes it a heavy responsibility. she definitely have to control herself and be a wise spender.
6. mica is not a registered voter. i know it's mean, but she doesn't want to mingle with political affairs and she doesn't believe in our government. plus, she just don't care. (very mean. :p)
7. mica doesn't have a car. so what's the use of a professional driver's license?
8. mica is, again, a home buddy. so going home late is not so good at all.
9. mica is not serious about having a relationship. she do have crushes but going "steady" is just not her thing. she's scared of her parents and especially, her grandfather. she's also a pikon and she just can't stand all the mocking of her friends and her father.
10. mica makes decisions, but can't live to it. one day she wants to take up psychology, then the other, public health. then nursing. she just can't make up her mind. and although many consider her as a smart girl, she can't answer this, "how do you see yourself five to ten years from now?"
mica is still a kid.
she dreams a lot.
she wants to do this, she wants to be that.
she wants to learn to the piano, the guitar, the flute, the violin.
she wants to be a model.
she wants to be a streetdancer.
she wants to be doctor.
but soon, mica will be 18 and it hurts to know that she's getting older, but not any better. it's as simple as this: 18 ka na. matanda ka na. bakit hindi ko pa inaral ang mga gusto ko habang bata pa ako? mica feels she's to old for the things she dreams of. she feels that she lacks time and she should have better priorities than the those above.
people could really be very judgemental. indeed, farthest from us is not the moon or the stars, but time passed. mica should know, she's old enough to realize that.
mica, be your age.
act your age.
get real.
***
in a linear regression model where the system of this world is the regressed and each one of us is a regressor, sometimes i find the coefficient of my existence indeterminate and my standard errors infinite. i guess somewhere in this multivariate, complex model, i still haven't found that one single regressor i'm perfectly colinear with. if i detect him and we both get transformed, then we'd finally found that together, our joint existence is in fact highly significant and our joint standard error is substantially small.
-nosebleed.
:D
| posted by mica. at 5:24 PM
